M'Pai Bay, Koh Rong Sanloem

We left Lazy Beach and took a tractor loaded with people to Saracen Bay where we found Mr. Nice. We paid him $5 to take us by boat to M’Pai Bay where we planned to spend ten days.

M’Pai Bay is not that big and most of the accommodations are hostels catering to the backpack lifestyle, dorm rooms with shared bathrooms. Technically we are backpackers, but not really like these backpackers.

There are few places to rent on the island that have their own bathroom, so I felt lucky when Jim found a room with a full size bed, mosquito net and our very own bathroom for $15. What more did we need on an island? It also had good reviews.

It was the home of a kind Swedish man and his Cambodian wife along with their two kids, who are five and two. We liked that it was a couple of streets a way from the main road, it would be quiet and more peaceful. There were three rooms like ours and they were booked every night.

It had a beautiful yard that housed ducks, cats, rosters, chickens, creepy crawlers and sometimes the neighborhood kids. It is right across from the community center and the future site of a police station.

Our street was filled with all locals and most homes had homemade signs outside saying they served food. They also had hammocks behind the restaurants, where they slept. Families were outside all day and night; doing chores, cooking, adding on makeshift rooms, crushing cans, drying fish and at one home a group of guys were building the biggest speaker boxes I'd ever seen. Cool, this is going to be awesome, living with the locals.

Our first morning we went and had a real cup of coffee at Seaponys' then spent the day on the beach watching kids play. This will do just fine!

We walked home to take a shower before heading back out for dinner. We got home to find the power out...no big deal, there was no hot water anyway and as long as we kept the door cracked and blinds open we could see...along with anyone else walking by.

This is when we got introduced to the toad, who was a regular guest in our room. After googling, it's pretty harmless unless you touch it, then it can irritate your skin and eyes. He remained with us during our entire stay, startling one of us at least a couple of times a day. No biggie, off to dinner.

We had a great dinner and walked home to sit outside and enjoy the garden area. Glistening with deet, we grabbed two plastic chairs and hot water because we had no refrigerator and hung out listening to the speaker builders blare their music. Time to head in and wash off the plastic that was stuck to my skin from the chair. Yes, our 100% deet can remove plastic. As Jim opened the door a rush of hot air escaped and once again we had no power which meant no ceiling fan, no lights... It's was going to be a long hot night and where the fuck was the toad?

The neighbors on both sides took advantage of the cool evening and kept their generators going to continue working on building. Sometimes the generator would stop and then the hammering would begin. Okay no biggie.

Around 2130 kids stopped crying, people started to pull out their nets and beds to sleep outside. Oh and the power went back on. Yeah! Then as I lay there I heard a loud fart. I reached for Jim and whispered was that you? Nope! It sounded as if someone was blowing up the toilet in our bathroom. It was as if our neighbors were literally in our room. And for the next hour, I heard them pooping, peeing, talking, showering, laughing and giggling. I looked at Jim, because if we could hear them, they could hear us. Great, Jim didn't care, but now I'll have to do my bathroom business quietly. We finally fell asleep around 2300.

At about 0030 I hear an ear piercing kid start to scream. I immediately bolted up, grabbing Jim thinking someone was being hurt or taken. He was already out of bed. Listening longer, I heard a woman sternly say something and the kid just continued to cry. It's like she decided this night would be the best time to start sleep training her two year old, who obviously was going to give her a run for her money. Literally two hours of off and on screams and cries and when I thought it was finally asleep, another ear piercing scream jolted us awake.

At 0230 Awe finally no more crying. Our poor neighbor sure is having tummy issues. Thankfully the smell didn't carry.

At 0345 - What's that noise… is someone breaking in...Jim? Already up. Just the crushing of cans!

At 0545 one of the 6,000 rosters starts to wake the rest of the chickens, birds, ducks, dogs, workers and kids, so many kids.

Our host lives next door to us, in a similar room but with his family. I saw that he had a hammock above the bed for the kids I am assuming.

At 0600 our hosts' two year old thinks it's time to play and whines and cries until they open the door and shove it outside. The next hour was filled with shrills and screams to mom and dad while she ran wildly and soon after, the whole neighborhood gang came over to play. Guess it's time to get up.

At 0645 power goes off before we have time to make tea.

Every morning over coffee and breakfast we would recap what night's events woke us or kept us up. We did this for seven days straight. Sure breakfast and dinner were at different places and once we found the actual M'Pai Bay beach most of our daytime hours were spent there. It was a beautiful walk to get to a secluded beach.

We spent the remainder of our time on this practically empty beach following the shifting shade of the trees and cooling off in the beautiful waters.

Added to lack of sleep, around the third night Jim was diagnosed with a creeping eruption by the local Health Post and given three days of antibiotics, which made him nauseated and gave him a headache. But at least the worm in him was dying and it didn't keep him from enjoying the beach...or dogs.

After six nights of this routine, we decided we needed a Plan B. After going through all sorts of different scenarios, not wanting to go to the mainland yet and not wanting to share a bathroom, we decided to start thinking about the "Resort on the Hill." Yes, there is a resort that boasts its beautiful A/C rooms with the best sunsets on the island. We watched everyday as the resort sent golf carts down to pick up the few people that got off the ferries all decked out in designer beach wear with at least three bags of rolling suitcases. It literally was our only option for a non shared room or bathroom on the island.

We made the decision that it was in our best interest for us to bitch out, a saying we use when only the both of us agree that we don't want to rough something out. I have a lot of these moments... Jim not so much. We agreed we'd splurge for the next three nights especially after both of us got eaten up during yesterday's beach day from sand flies...fleas who knows. Last night sent us both over the edge, when the power was off all night...it made for a sweaty, itchy no sleep kind of night. $55 for AC and two twin beds with a sea view...... would do just fine.

We left our place and hiked up the hill refusing to be "those people" who get a cart ride. Hmmm I now see why the cart comes and gets them...it's a quarter of a mile straight up. We arrived all sweaty, looking and smelling like….well, backpackers who are checking into a high class resort. We were immediately greeted and asked to sit while they brought fresh lime juice with ice...ICE! AWWW.

While Jim started the check in process he inquired about an upgrade. The guy said sure and took Jim to show him the “best room” at the resort. Jim walked back with a big grin and a thumbs up....and for $60 a night for the next three days I would be living like a queen. A/C, ice, hot water, refrigerator, power and Jim like a King with his golden bum gun. The room was actually $120 a night but Jim saw it on Expedia for $37 and spoke to the owner on the phone who didn't know about the mistake. He thanked Jim for the heads up and discounted the room for us.

The views were amazing from our elite suite balcony. The resort restaurant, called the Viewpoint, offered great food and stunning views. We snorkeled without fear of getting hit by a passing boat like in the main bay, it was a much needed break.

Sadly our third night was up and it was time to leave. The hotel staff insisted we take a ride down to the dock. Jim wanted to walk but I wasn't having it, as I was still royalty! Jim tried in vain to hide his identity knowing full well he was the only bald, sorry, "shaved" guy on the island. We drove by the bars, the restaurants and all the people we've met during our time here, feeling the full wrath of their contempt. I just waved goodbye as a queen should.

Our ferry back to the city of Preah Sihanouk was an hour and half late. There were only a handful of people waiting which I thought could be a good thing, there will be room on the boat…or a bad thing…they could cancel the ferry. We gave ourselves two days in Preah Sihanouk before our flight just for situations like this.

Thankfully our ferry pulled in but it was packed. It seemed like a lot of people got off with luggage, but I am not sure where they came from because when I got on every seat was taken…..except the front two seats behind the captain. I now know why they were empty, people in the front got soaked. Jim did his best to shield us while keeping the captains’ 30 pack of beer from falling on us. The 30 pack sat on a three foot tall speaker on wheels. We arrived late, but we arrived!

Back on the mainland we spent two relaxing days at Manoha Villa before catching a flight to Siem Reap. We enjoyed the past two weeks of "island life" but we are definitely excited for some Mexican food and a visit to the magnificent Angkor Wat!

I watched these two sometimes three kids work daily to get the kayak in the water. Finally they did it, only to have two tourists come and take it from them....such determination. I enjoyed how kids were allowed to run freely regardless of age....I was told it's just "island life."